Coffee with Yolie: A mother-in-law’s perspective on her daughter-in-law, Yolanda (Yolie) Baskin, who made her recent journey….to Heaven.
by Grace Marchand Baskin
I didn’t know what I could do for her to make her well, again….there was nothing that I could have done that would have made any difference…..nothing, and I’m sad over that. I couldn’t save her one little smidgen.
I even told her parents I would if I could, even if it meant losing my own life, as I’ve lived a good one, and as old as I now am (just turned 70 years young) why oh why could I not have been able to transfer some of those years over to her? She needed them more than I did, and it would be wonderful to be able to help her do the same, as all she wanted was to see her children grow, but …..all I could do were some things, I think I do best: have a great cup of coffee, and write, so I did. Each morning began with me making a pot of coffee to perk, and when ready, I’d call her wherever she was, home or hospital, and say, “Okay, I’m having coffee now”, and she’d reply, “I am, too, mom, with a biscotti.” (She loved biscotti so much I dubbed her Yolie Biscotti)……and then,
I started writing her letters after her brain surgery, and each time she had to go back to UCLA, and then in the care center, then at home…..etc., sketching colorful pictures on the envelopes, and stationary, filling lines with sweet or funny phrases and memories……telling her how much I have always appreciated her taking such great care of my son…….how she always made his dreams, hers, how good her parents were to him – he has great in-laws…..just some of the stuff that I wanted her to know while she was alive and well, and for that matter, I’ve told her these things many times over the years they were married, just so nothing ever, was left unsaid. We had a comfortable relationship, and again, the fact that she was so “there” for my son, all of the time, no matter what – I knew that if things were reversed she would be in his court front and center: there’s nothing more I can say, except – he will never find another like her. I fill my cup of coffee in the morning, look over at the Sacred Heart of Jesus picture that mom gave me, then at Yolie’s picture, and say, “Here’s to you”, and I’m going to keep saying it because there it is….coffee with Yolie, now, and always. Love, Mom B. xo